Michael Satterfield
TGR Staff – 10/13/2009
Whale penis leather interior. That’s all you really need to know about the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition. Yes, the diamond-encrusted white gold gauges and gold-plated bulletproof windows are impressive, but seriously, whale penis leather interior.
The already bulletproof and wildly over-the-top 8.1 liter GM V8-powered Dartz Kombat T98 is getting a name change to Prombron and along with it will come a complete and brain-maimingly bourgeoisie upgrade with the Monaco Red Diamond Edition. The world’s most expensive ultra-luxury SUV will debut at the 2010 Top Marques Monaco show with luxe features crazy enough to make a Maybach blush. For your $1.5 million you get the following features:
1. Ruby Red matte paint2. Gold-plated bulletproof windows3. 22″ Kremlin Red Star bulletproof wheels4. Whale Penis Leather interior5. Tungsten exhaust6. Tungsten and white gold gauges with diamonds and rubies7. White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges – grill, side and dashboard8. Special edition Vertu mobile phone with “alert” button9. Additional outside kevlar coating10. Rogue Acoustic Audio System.
The already bulletproof and wildly over-the-top 8.1 liter GM V8-powered Dartz Kombat T98 is getting a name change to Prombron and along with it will come a complete and brain-maimingly bourgeoisie upgrade with the Monaco Red Diamond Edition. The world’s most expensive ultra-luxury SUV will debut at the 2010 Top Marques Monaco show with luxe features crazy enough to make a Maybach blush. For your $1.5 million you get the following features:
1. Ruby Red matte paint2. Gold-plated bulletproof windows3. 22″ Kremlin Red Star bulletproof wheels4. Whale Penis Leather interior5. Tungsten exhaust6. Tungsten and white gold gauges with diamonds and rubies7. White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges – grill, side and dashboard8. Special edition Vertu mobile phone with “alert” button9. Additional outside kevlar coating10. Rogue Acoustic Audio System.
And, of course, of course -THREE BOTTLES OF World Most Expensive Vodka – RussoBaltique Vodka, drink edition, same as in the RussoBaltique car when it visited Monaco at 1912.
We have a lot of questions about this car, most of them whale penis leather-related, but in the bigger picture, this brazen finger-in-the-eye raises a good point, so to speak. What makes a luxury vehicle? Things we used to think of as luxury – bovine leather, wood trim, high-end audio, etc., have become mainstream. Does it take exceptionally ridiculous material selection and bold, ostentatious flair to define new luxury? Is it encapsulating yourself in a vehicle capable of taking a direct hit from a rocket-propelled grenade? Does it mean emulating the wild excess of past luxury much like the Red Diamond is doing? Who knows. But we’re betting the tzars would roll in one of these babies.
