Like a Zombie, Pontiac may be dead, but it is not going away.

Hillbillies, Trailer Park Residents, People with Mullets, Burt Reynolds fans, and Guys that Cruise Mulberry and Grand in New York City all let out a collective sigh of relief at the news that Kevin Morgan Designs will be offering a Firebird Screaming Chicken in 2010. Based on the new Chevy Camaro, the car has been significantly restyled to reflect the late 1970’s Trans-Am that has captured the hearts of so many in the mustache community. While pricing is yet to be released I would guess that a well dressed “Phoenix” (as it will be called) will cost upwards of $50,000 when adding the cost of a brand new Camaro.

It is rumored that Kevin Morgan Designs is also working on a line of “Trans-Am Lifestyle” accessories including Gold Chains, “Wife-Beaters” (tank tops), Satin Jackets, Framed Burt Reynolds Artwork (above), and Trucker Caps.

In a interview with Jimmy Landry (pictured Above), current Trans-Am owner and resident of Crossles Grove Mobile Estates he said “I can’t wait to get my hands on the new Trans-Am, my 78 has been in front of the mobile on cinder-blocks for over five years, but if I make a good haul on my next batch, you know I’ll be rocking one (Trans-Am)”. Sadly Jimmy did not live to see this story published, as his trailer was destroyed in a mysterious explosion a few hours later.

There is some folklore like qualities to the Firebird in general, a car driven by Bandits, Detectives, and Racers alike. The car was quick for late 70’s standards, but even with a 6.6 liter engine it only produced 200 horse power, and with a curb weight of over 3,400 lbs it had a hard time living up to the massive decal on the hood. However, in the dark ages of the 70’s and 80’s it has been one of the few cars to hang on, men in jean jackets hold it up and the pinnacle of automotive perfection. While I will never understand the passion for these cars outside their novelty value, somewhere a man is following his girlfriend as she walks down the street, shouting through the open T-Tops “Baby I didn’t mean it, just get back in da car” and he is living the Trans-Am dream.

This is not a serious article…Kevin Morgan is a very talented designer and builder. This is meant strictly as satire, if you are offended…well it’s probably because your dad did not hug you enough as a kid.