TGR Staff -01/05/2022
Every year electronic, automotive, and software companies gather in Sin City to unveil their latest vision of our inevitable cyberpunk dystopian future. It seems most contemporary futurists are obsessed with the elimination of humanity from most interactions so we can pursue more meaningful lives in the Metaverse... so long as you pay for your monthly subscription. Automotive companies take the opportunity to showcase how they have invested in becoming a "mobility company" which generally means they spent $4 billion dollars to create "the future of mobility" which always is just a fancier version of an electric wheelchair. Nevertheless, enjoy a recap of CES 2022 unveils:
Hyundai showcased a modular robotics platform to "enable unlimited mobility of things" a concept to "enable the movement of traditional inanimate objects" because who hasn't wanted a sentient Grandfather Clock. The platform is designed to allow objects to move autonomously in the future where "you won’t move your things — they will move around you."
Hyundai shares their vision for "Metamobility" where instead of going to actual places and experiencing actual things you will strap on a headset and control a robot through some kind of augmented reality. One super creepy example Hyundai shared was the idea of having a physical robotic avatar of yourself at home that you could access remotely through the metaverse while away from home so you can have the robot avatar pet your dog or sit at the dinner table with your family. The far-reaching implications of humanoid robots remotely controlled through the internet should terrify you, but at least it will make for interesting True Crime dramas.
Cadillac seemed to reach back to the 1995 film Judge Dredd to get inspiration for the future. The large single-seat drone and the 2080 Chevy Astrovan were unveiled last year. This year they showcased the sporty-looking personal autonomous runabout, that looks sporty but if you are just riding around looking at a screen, does it really matter?
Tired of waiting on a human to deliver your food? Now you can wait on Ottobot, an autonomous robot that looks like a shopping cart currently testing last-mile deliveries in Los Angeles. Of course, they don't say what neighborhood in Los Angeles they are testing, but I'm guessing it is one that doesn't have homeless encampments blocking the sidewalks.
Vietnamese car fans can finally put down a deposit on a
Vinfast VF e35 or VF e36 for 2022 deliveries, to get some extra buzzwords into the press release they are using blockchain technology to certify reservations and eventually vehicle ownership. If you are confused, don't be, Vinfast is a new car company that launched in the US in November 2021. The company has said they will be offering all-electric models designed by Italian firm Pininfarina with the first Vinfast to be delivered in California by 2022, but so far none have been spotted testing in the US.
Chrysler unveiled a handsome electric concept sadly called the Airflow, which harkens back to the brand's iconic and innovative car of the same name from the early 1930s. This new ride is supposed to be out by 2025 and is the first all-new product for the Chrysler brand in years. Chrysler also announced they plan on an all-electric product line by 2028, so be ready to trade in your SRT8 Chrysler 300.
Vuzix Sheild Smart Glasses are another tool to help you get the most out of the connected future with an augmented reality heads-up display. This tech will allow you to look at directions while streaming video from the field back to the office, something we are all looking to do. These glasses could have some very specific applications but don't expect to see everyone wearing AR glasses around town anytime soon.
If you felt like you missed out on your chance in the early 2000s to own a Chevy Avalanche, GM has a new less capable, and more expensive version that will be perfect for hauling your surfboard the 1.2 miles down to the beach and back again. It of course is the all-electric Silverado EV and features Avalanchelike mid-gate which will allow you finally have a truck and still have the chance to rest 2X4s on the center console to get home. On paper, the new Silverado EV can tow up to 10,000 lbs and has a range of 400 miles on a full charge, but no numbers on the range when you do happen to want to tow 10,000 lbs, a fully loaded model will set you back just $107,000, so get your orders in for 2024.
Have you ever been sitting on your sofa watching TV and thought that the only thing that would make your viewing experience better would be if you were sitting in the back of your car? Never fear, BMW called up the guys from Pimp My Ride and have pulled the wraps off of "Theater Mode" a massive 31 inch ultra-wide 8K screen with built-in Amazon Fire TV that folds out of the headliner. The system also features a cinematic sound system developed with Hans Zimmer so the driver can at least audibly experience every jump scare.
Are you tired of spending hours waiting to just charge your vehicle on land? Wish you could spend hours waiting to charge your vehicle on the water? Thanks to General Motors' partnership with
Pure Watercraft you can now spend up to 27 hours waiting for your boat to be fully charged. Since we all know that boating is about showing off your disposable income you'll be the envy of the high seas once people find out your silent running pontoon is around three times more than a gas-powered Sun Tracker. Plus the whole lake will get a good look at your sweet ride since even with the dual-motor option, you'll be able to go less than half as fast as the less expensive Lowe SS 250 WS.
If you are someone who has ever had to run from the police, BMW has an exciting new option for you thanks to its color shifting "E-Ink" which allows the vehicle to toggle between different colors. Cops are looking for a black BMW? Best of luck to them. The best part is that as a BMW is known for long the longevity of their complicated electronics so covering the entire car in them should be a good thing down the road.
Have you ever wished your bathmat had built-in footprint recognition? Ever needed your bathmat to be connected to an app that uses artificial intelligence to collect data to provide you with coaching on improving your posture? Have you ever wanted to get notifications about minor weight fluctuations sent directly to your phone? Then BBalance is the connected smart bath rug you have been waiting for.
Disclaimer: Our CES review is written tongue in cheek, we used to be able to just have fun, but now must include a disclaimer for those with no sense of humor. While I am sure many of these products solve problems for a very select group of people, we should probably draw the line at remote-controlled humanoid avatar robots. We have seen that movie more than once and it never really works out.
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