In today's culture of swipe Left/Right
dating, Netflix and Chill, and "hanging out" it seems that the art of
actually dating a woman might be lost on the majority of men. If you are one of
those guys looking to impress a special lady here are a few things you might
try that will make you stand out among the flood of DMs she is getting every
day.
Personal Communication
This is scary, but actually ask her out, in person if possible, or at the very least on the phone. It won't kill you, she might say no, but at least you will have a clear yes or no. Trust me it's better than the vague text reply Emojies you are supposed to decipher. To make it easier try to have something pre-planned you would like to take her to and put some thought into inviting her to something you will both enjoy.
Something like "I would like to take you to an art gallery opening this Saturday at seven if you are free, then afterward we can get dinner."
It can be a movie, a play, event, church social, pretty much anything you can think of, but by asking her to a specific event she has a clear idea of what to expect and can make up her mind.
Transportation
If she agrees to the date, figure out transportation. Even if it might be out of your way, ask her if she would like you to pick her up. Now, this could mean pick her up from work, or home, or her master's program at the university clear across town, if she says yes, make it happen. If you are picking her up, that means you are walking up to the door, texting "here" from the parking lot is not acceptable. When you go to the door be prepared to politely interact with family or friends she may live with. Now she may decline the offer to have you pick her up and plan to meet you at the event for whatever reason, just make sure that transportation is sorted out beforehand.
Bring Her Flowers
Now, this might not be common practice anymore, but you don't want to be common, you want to stand out. It shows you are thoughtful and clarifies your intentions are more serious. If all goes well she will take them home, put them in a vase and they will be a reminder of you for days. They don't have to be expensive or fancy, just a token of your affection.
Dress Appropriately
This doesn't mean dress up in a suit if you are taking your date to a baseball game, but put some effort into your style. If you don't know what the attire should be, a safe bet is "smart casual" some dark jeans, a button-up shirt, a nice belt/shoes, and an appropriate coat. Be yourself, but use the opportunity to let your style say something about you. She will appreciate the effort.
If you are inviting a date to an event with a specific attire requirement, be sure to let her know ahead of time.
Offer Her Your Coat
If it is cold outside, offer her your jacket. Similarly, if it is raining she gets the majority of the umbrella coverage, etc. Her comfort should be prioritized over yours.
Be Clear About Your Intentions
This is true regardless if you are looking for a casual dinner date or the future mother of your children (you may want to hold off on proclaiming the latter if you are on a first date). If you are interested in a woman and just want to get to know her better, let her know that. If you have no interest in her beyond just hooking up, you might want to just go back to swiping right. But in all honesty, as much as we like to pretend women are the only ones who are vague, men are just as bad. It's not so much what we say, it is what we don't say, express your feelings, tell them what intrigues you about them.
Send A Thank You Note
This may sound odd since you asked her out, but after a first date, even if everything didn't go according to plan, send her a short note. If it went well let her know that you had a wonderful time and you look forward to seeing her again. It doesn't need to be a love sonnet, just a brief note. If things didn't go well, send a note anyways, thanking her for coming out, and wishing her well.
Open Doors For Her
The car door, the restaurant door, the theater door, the taxi cab door (if she didn't ride with you) any door you approach together you open for her, with one exception, the door to her home. After walking her back (If you are dropping her off at home), you say your goodbyes and if she doesn't invite you in, you step back a step and let her get inside safely before leaving. Remember, she is not obligated to invite you in.
If You Invited Her Out, You Are Paying
Now I am assuming you are not a dupe who is asking out a woman who has no interest in you beyond a free dinner and some drinks, but regardless, if you invite her out, pay for the date. If she invites you out, offer to pay for yourself and if she insists on paying, let her. This should evolve as your relationship progresses.
Turning Off Your Phone
Nothing can spoil a night out more than the sound of your date's phone receiving messages and calls, or worse your date spending all night looking at their phone. If you want to impress your date, give them your undivided attention. Make sure they see you switch your phone off or to 'do not disturb' mode, today showing someone you are disconnecting from the rest of the world to spend an hour wholly focused on them sends a message.
These are just a few tips guys should follow if they are hoping to stand out in the world of dating. But what are your thoughts? Do you have a favorite tip from the list or a tip of your own? If so please share in the comments below.
Personal Communication
This is scary, but actually ask her out, in person if possible, or at the very least on the phone. It won't kill you, she might say no, but at least you will have a clear yes or no. Trust me it's better than the vague text reply Emojies you are supposed to decipher. To make it easier try to have something pre-planned you would like to take her to and put some thought into inviting her to something you will both enjoy.
Something like "I would like to take you to an art gallery opening this Saturday at seven if you are free, then afterward we can get dinner."
It can be a movie, a play, event, church social, pretty much anything you can think of, but by asking her to a specific event she has a clear idea of what to expect and can make up her mind.
Transportation
If she agrees to the date, figure out transportation. Even if it might be out of your way, ask her if she would like you to pick her up. Now, this could mean pick her up from work, or home, or her master's program at the university clear across town, if she says yes, make it happen. If you are picking her up, that means you are walking up to the door, texting "here" from the parking lot is not acceptable. When you go to the door be prepared to politely interact with family or friends she may live with. Now she may decline the offer to have you pick her up and plan to meet you at the event for whatever reason, just make sure that transportation is sorted out beforehand.
Bring Her Flowers
Now, this might not be common practice anymore, but you don't want to be common, you want to stand out. It shows you are thoughtful and clarifies your intentions are more serious. If all goes well she will take them home, put them in a vase and they will be a reminder of you for days. They don't have to be expensive or fancy, just a token of your affection.
Dress Appropriately
This doesn't mean dress up in a suit if you are taking your date to a baseball game, but put some effort into your style. If you don't know what the attire should be, a safe bet is "smart casual" some dark jeans, a button-up shirt, a nice belt/shoes, and an appropriate coat. Be yourself, but use the opportunity to let your style say something about you. She will appreciate the effort.
If you are inviting a date to an event with a specific attire requirement, be sure to let her know ahead of time.
Offer Her Your Coat
If it is cold outside, offer her your jacket. Similarly, if it is raining she gets the majority of the umbrella coverage, etc. Her comfort should be prioritized over yours.
Be Clear About Your Intentions
This is true regardless if you are looking for a casual dinner date or the future mother of your children (you may want to hold off on proclaiming the latter if you are on a first date). If you are interested in a woman and just want to get to know her better, let her know that. If you have no interest in her beyond just hooking up, you might want to just go back to swiping right. But in all honesty, as much as we like to pretend women are the only ones who are vague, men are just as bad. It's not so much what we say, it is what we don't say, express your feelings, tell them what intrigues you about them.
Send A Thank You Note
This may sound odd since you asked her out, but after a first date, even if everything didn't go according to plan, send her a short note. If it went well let her know that you had a wonderful time and you look forward to seeing her again. It doesn't need to be a love sonnet, just a brief note. If things didn't go well, send a note anyways, thanking her for coming out, and wishing her well.
Open Doors For Her
The car door, the restaurant door, the theater door, the taxi cab door (if she didn't ride with you) any door you approach together you open for her, with one exception, the door to her home. After walking her back (If you are dropping her off at home), you say your goodbyes and if she doesn't invite you in, you step back a step and let her get inside safely before leaving. Remember, she is not obligated to invite you in.
If You Invited Her Out, You Are Paying
Now I am assuming you are not a dupe who is asking out a woman who has no interest in you beyond a free dinner and some drinks, but regardless, if you invite her out, pay for the date. If she invites you out, offer to pay for yourself and if she insists on paying, let her. This should evolve as your relationship progresses.
Turning Off Your Phone
Nothing can spoil a night out more than the sound of your date's phone receiving messages and calls, or worse your date spending all night looking at their phone. If you want to impress your date, give them your undivided attention. Make sure they see you switch your phone off or to 'do not disturb' mode, today showing someone you are disconnecting from the rest of the world to spend an hour wholly focused on them sends a message.
These are just a few tips guys should follow if they are hoping to stand out in the world of dating. But what are your thoughts? Do you have a favorite tip from the list or a tip of your own? If so please share in the comments below.
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