Breaking News: Pamala Anderson comes out Against Penis!

TGR Staff - 11/11/2009

Russian Luxury SUV maker DARTZ came under fire from many of the empty heads in Hollywood as well as radical left-wing Environmentalist when it announced earlier this year that its massively opulent and ostentatious SUV, the Kombat, would have seats wrapped in whale foreskin. DARTZ responded to criticism from Pamela Anderson and others in the press release below.


PRESS RELEASE:


ARMORED CAR WITHOUT PENIS. LET'S SAVE THE WHALES.


One month ago DARTZ presented uberluxury armored car with whale penis interior - PROMBRON' (ex.RussoBaltique), lot of people name this car as DARTZ.KOMBAT. As the world's resonance was very huge and DARTZ got a lot of angry e-mails from Greenpeace, WWF, and also Pamela Anderson, DARTZ made a strong decision to stop their plans regarding such an interior.

"We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that. All we want - to make just luxury car. Real luxury car which will be world number one car. Our brand was started at 1869 when in Riga was opened Coach Factory or Russo Baltiysky Vagonnij Zavod - PBVZ, and first products was luxury train coaches. In 1907, a decision was made to open the Car Department, and in 1909, the first car left the factory - the name of this car was RussoBalt. This was luxury and sport cars. In 1911, the Monaco Rally car got a French-style name - RussoBaltique. At 1912 factory made world first 4 x 4 wheel drive car, and at 1914 - armored car. All we want is to unite the luxury and armoring traditions of the RussoBalt factory in one car, which the brand has celebrated 100 years now. At 1922 RussoBalt was renamed to PROMBRON' (ex.RussoBalt).

We just looking for most expensive products for this car - and that's why we choosed whale penis leathure when we checked it is most of most. After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leathure at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars. We want to tell our hello to all whales: "Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales - we will keep You live! We don't Earth fall down to Ocean!"

Also we make a decision to pay more attention to glass and on our new car model we will use glass which will be made by special technology - from artificial grown chrystals, which will be gold sputerred to cut IR and UV rays, which make driving inconvinient when sun shine.
Best regards,


Leonard F. Yankelovich

[Source: DARTZ.EU]